I have a big problem. I read series long past when I was last actually enjoying them (if I ever actually did enjoy reading it). I will often read until I’ve caught up and then sit on the series like a dragon minding its hoard waiting… waiting for…
Which leads to my next biggest problem: I track series for years that I have read, because “I’m still going to read that someday. I’m just waiting for it to end!”
So yesterday, when I checking on my hoard pile, adding new books that I didn’t know about before, I had a revelation. I didn’t care enough about a series to even look at if it had new books. And then I came across it again. I didn’t care.
And so I did something revolutionary for me. I deleted the books in that series I hadn’t read yet. And then I did it again. And again. And again. I don’t know how many I deleted. At a guess around 100 books. But, I also don’t want to count. I don’t want to know the numbers.
This process was also anxiety inducing for me. Those books.. I need to know what happened in them. I didn’t want to delete them. But I know what series they are – I’m not deleting the books I’ve already read, afterall. Just the ones on the TBR. I can always add them again later, if or when I decide to read them again.
And these aren’t series I’m looking forward to getting back to reading. They are the series that I disliked. The ones that, when thinking about actually reading again filled me with dread. The series that are so convoluted with side stories and spinoffs that have to be read in who knows what order such that I have to look it up again before rereading that I can no longer keep up with.
In other words: the books I don’t actually want to read. Yet I’d still beat myself up because I hadn’t gotten back around to the series. They’d just sit there, reminding me of my failures. Well this is enough, no more.
This realization is a breakthrough for me. This year has been a series of new things for me. I’m feeling healthier in my reading habits. It’s only the beginning of February, and I’ve already DNFd four books, more than the last 10 years combined.
This realization was hard. And I’m still not happy about my decision. I still want my hoard back. But I’m going to be alright.
AND I CAN SEE THE END OF THE TBR LIST NOW!
You can say I’ve been beaten by a pile of books. But I like to think of it as I have finally beaten a pile of books.