As of today, I’m going to put my Trope Time, Genre Talk, and Subgenre Highlight post series on hold. I’m not cancelling them entirely. I’m just pausing them for the time being. I’ll still be writing my book reviews, but for the discussion posts I need to step back and regroup because the way I am doing them right now is just… it is too much. In the future when they come back, they’ll probably come back altered. Because I cannot keep up this schedule.
I don’t like writing. It is perhaps a bit difficult to know that based on the ridiculous amount of reviews and discussion posts I have written, but it is true. I actually dread writing every single review I write. I love the books, it is just the writing part that is difficult for me. It is worse with my discussion posts. I don’t even have a word for what I feel every Sunday when I sit down to write these posts for Monday. And that feeling has become too much to overcome.
They also take a very long time to write. Each post probably takes on average eight hours to research and write. I think the shortest was four hours, and the longest was over twenty, with most taking around 8-10 hours. That includes researching the topic, which often includes really weird back alleys and side trips to figure out certain aspects, gathering the appropriate sources, and then finally sitting down to write. It is an all day project.
And the kicker is, I really do enjoy the research part of the projects. I really love learning all the cool things about genres and writing and tropes. I have learned so much so far while doing these writing series. That enjoyment just isn’t enough to balance out the writing aspects of the project. Each post I write has dozens of things I leave out because it doesn’t fit the constraints of the post I’m trying to write but are so interesting anyway.
I thought these would get easier with time. It hasn’t. It has actually become more difficult. Each week has gotten more difficult than the last. Until today, when I had the errant thought that I could just put the series on hold. And that thought was the beginning and end of that decision. Because as it stands, I no longer have enthusiasm to learn about the topics I have listed to go through.
I think I might have done this a while ago had I not been so determined to follow my schedule. I have a list of topics going through January 2022 all scheduled in advance. And I hate breaking that schedule, just like I hated breaking it in January of this year when I was too sick to write. But it has to be done. And I realized that I don’t have to rush towards the end, I have to learn to enjoy the process again.